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update thingy
March 16, 2005 2:16 p.m.

For some reason I felt the need to update right now. I miss Diaryland, as usual. I still ghost-read so many of your diaries, you have no idea. Bwhaha. I should leave comments, I guess, since the very reason I eventually stopped writing online was because I was scared of the ghost readers. Anyways.

Things are good with me, which I guess is another reason I haven't been writing much online anymore. There was always more pent up inside of me, you know? Now, I feel somewhat content with my life. I'm heading towards post-grad depression, but it's mixed with a sense of relief as well. In a way, I'm kind of looking forward to post-grad depression. It seems a little more comforting that mid-undergrad depression.

I thought I'd be finishing up my degree in December of 2005, but it turns out that I'm actually finished my minor already and my last day of my degree will be July 29! So starting this fall, I will no longer be a student. What am I going to do with myself? Being a student is practically my identity. School is what I've devoted the vast majority of my energy towards for pretty much, um... my entire life? I'm looking into a few Masters programs here, but my marks are pretty borderline (barely an A- average) and I'm not totally convinced of anything yet.

Boyfriend is good, no complaints there really. Things are plugging along. We still have limited time for each other, but we find ways. I feel very lucky to have him in my life, even if sometimes I have my odd little moments of doubt where I can't decipher whether my feelings for him are genuinely romantic, or if I see him as more of a best friend. It's complicated I guess because I feel like I can never 100% shake the attraction issue (that is, the fact that I wasn't attracted to him for months until I got to know him better). I don't really know what to do about that, but it's not like it's brutally bothersome right now. I know I'm lucky to have such a great guy who cares about me the way he does.

I got promoted at work to serving (big promotion huh - now I'm a waitress! whoppee). I make a lot better money now because of tips. With tips previous I'd make about $10/hr, now I make closer to $20/hr. But don't get me wrong, this doesn't make my job any better really, I still pretty much hate it and can't wait until something more relevant comes along in my life. I have already vowed to rid myself of the whole restaurant industry within a year, hopefully. I want job stability, and something that more closely resembles a career. I dunno. I guess I'm like every college student... sick of stupid part-time jobs.

I have to go to class in a bit, but I wanted to keep this diary alive.

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