Between ill attempts at coming back to Diaryland, I do check my favourites list everyday. I have no completely disappeared, even if it seems that way.
I feel horrible. About not writing, I mean. Maybe I outgrew my passion of writing - if you can outgrow a passion? I take it back, I didn't outgrow anything because I honestly do like writing still.
Maybe it's that I'm actually happy and I've never had experience in expressing happiness before. Maybe I don't know what it's like to express emotion beyond pain, confusion, and doubt.
Whatever it is, I do feel badly for quitting this. I like to think I haven't fully quit, by writing randomly once every few months, but I know the truth is I've totally isolated myself from Diaryland.
I want to rediscover words. I know they are in me somewhere.
A place that once felt so safe to me now feels unfamiliar.
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