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this writer's block is so, so bad
December 04, 2003 6:41 p.m.

Between ill attempts at coming back to Diaryland, I do check my favourites list everyday. I have no completely disappeared, even if it seems that way.

I feel horrible. About not writing, I mean. Maybe I outgrew my passion of writing - if you can outgrow a passion? I take it back, I didn't outgrow anything because I honestly do like writing still.

Maybe it's that I'm actually happy and I've never had experience in expressing happiness before. Maybe I don't know what it's like to express emotion beyond pain, confusion, and doubt.

Whatever it is, I do feel badly for quitting this. I like to think I haven't fully quit, by writing randomly once every few months, but I know the truth is I've totally isolated myself from Diaryland.

I want to rediscover words. I know they are in me somewhere.

A place that once felt so safe to me now feels unfamiliar.

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