I don't know though, entirely. I'm starting to have doubts. I can't handle change. I've had this diary for almost three years! How can I just...let it go? I keep asking myself, in my new diary will I really change direction, or will I keep on writing about the things I write about here? Sometimes here I feel like Cody is suffocating me. I think that by letting go of angel-stars, I'm letting go of one more Cody-related thing that ties me to my past too much. It's just another step away from it...why does it have to hurt so much?

Why am I getting the feeling I'll still come back here every day, just...because?

I'm taking 5 courses this semester and so far loving it, knock on wood as it is only Day 3. I'm just so interested in everything, I feel on top of things and in control of my life. Maybe things at school are sort of, kind of, finally falling into place. I still adore UBC.

I'm looking foward to things. I'm looking forward to taking a few more risks and actually doing something worthwhile with my education and my life in general.

On with the hair obsession - I just had my mom give me a teeny, tiny trim for the first time in I think 8 months. It was much needed and techincally I probably need more, but that will be all until the end of school. I also deep conditioned tonight and it feels great right now, though it's still wet so who knows what'll happen as it dries naturally. I'm aiming to reverse damage and gain more growth so by the time I see Cody again, my hair will be longer than he's ever seen it, shiny and healthy without the use of a hot iron. No more hot iron, only on special occasions. My main New Years Resolutions are about my hair...how very Krista of me.


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