I don't feel very good. Something is so wrong today. I got 7 hours of sleep which is decent but all day I've been dead tired. Constant yawning and heavy eyes. I've done a reasonable amount of looking over my notes and I don't think I'm going to be able to muster up the energy to do much else. It's been figured out that I need 61% on the final to get 70% in the course overall and I am content with that. If I get over 61 on the final, good, fine, moving along.

I washed my hair, worked in a lot of conditioner and then had a long, hot bath. It wasn't as relaxing as I'd hoped it to be because I couldn't get my mind off of how fat I am. The weight is coming back, I can feel it and see it. Lack of exercise with bad eating habits during the last couple weeks has not been kind to me. After this exam on Tuesday I'm spending the next week studying for my last exam and working my ass off at the gym every day. Back to my Slimfasts and calorie counting. I feel disgusting. It's the worst when you can feel it.

Not in a good mood.

It could be PMS. Actually it probably is, I feel hyper-irritable, have been craving food all day, felt fat even at work this morning and my boobs hurt so, bingo. For the love of God can I only have one safe week during an entire month where my hormones aren't fucked? It's like if it's not full-blown PMS, it's PMS onset or decline. There's that one golden week of the month that's gone before you even know it. If it's December 8th now and I'm getting the boobs and fatness that means if all goes according to plan I probably have a good week and a half ahead of PMS onset, then period then PMS decline for a day or two, meaning I may be in decline around Christmas and I may be golden around New Years. At least one of the party days has the potential to be safe.

Ickiness. Headache. Tired. Exam. Blah. I want a boy to hug me.

I. can't. stop. eating.


<< || >>