Do I live in a fantasy world? Is it okay to live in a fantasy world? When is it not okay to want your love life to unfold in some kind of magical, fairy tale manner?

Joey and Dawson finally slept together, and afterwards she found out that he actually had a girlfriend at the time. He broke up with the girlfriend the very morning after, knowing Joey was the one, but Joey found out - and couldn't handle it. Was extremely mad and now the whole Dawson and Joey saga continues with them going their own separate ways. Dawson said that he was living in the real world and that she wasn't, and that she needed to learn how to accept having an "adult relationship".

So I got thinking about this whole concept of an "adult relationship", because I've never really considered that there is such a thing. But there must be, because the way Joey reacted would have been exactly the way I'd have reacted in a situation like that. Point being, Joey has always wanted to be with Dawson, and vice versa, but Joey has wanted it to happen in that "perfect" way. She wanted their first time to be flawless, out of the movies, crazily romantic and absolutely...perfect. And it was, until she found out that it really wasn't, she just wasn't aware of a few other little details. Because when he'd been with her for the first time he'd actually been in another relationship, that ruined the perfection for her - she screamed at him that it didn't mean anything anymore, and that it had just been "two friends making a big mistake". Which it so wasn't, and she knew that, he knew that.

Joey envisions love as a fantasy, as being perfect, as falling into place at the exact right moments, as having no baggage. I think that I am the same way. Not sure if this is troublesome, but it didn't exactly make for the best of times in Joey's case.

So what is an "adult" relationship? I suppose accepting the fact that first of all, your boyfriend/girlfriend has most likely slept with one or more people before you came along, and has maybe even been in love before. What else? Lack of commitment? I always thought an adult relationship would mean there would be more commitment, but everywhere I look it's people "seeing" each other, cheating on each other, going on "breaks". I can't stand the thought of "seeing" someone, I mean...unless both parties are into the sleeping with each other and not getting attached sort of thing, which I'm definitely not, then isn't it just leading one of you into a false hope that it'll gradually grow into something more, and asking to get your heart broken and realize later you wasted a lot of time?

I do want things to fall into place "magically", and I do want a sort of fairy tale romance I suppose. I just don't want to deal with bullshit. You know? If there's something I don't miss about being in a relationship, it's the bullshit. The worrying, the arguing, the pressure of whatever you feel the need to be stressed out about. I admit to being the type to not settle for something unless it does seem to be really, really right. Perhaps this is just my bitter ex-girlfriend syndrome showing, but I wonder how hard it is going to be for Prince Charming to break through the new walls surrounding my heart. Sometimes I can't imagine myself falling in love again. I really want to, but I feel like it'd just have to be one hell of a guy.

I'm torn between agreeing with Dawson that Joey needs to grow up and accept the fact that not everything is going to be absolutely perfect, but on the other hand I understand why she is so mad, so hurt. It's the classic princess syndrome of wanting things to go your way, I think. Is that so bad though? I'm really confused. Am I supposed to be teaching myself to think, "Oh well, I guess I'll settle for this because nothing is ever going to be perfect", or is it better to know that I deserve the very best, and that I will get it?

I wonder if I'm naive, but then I can't shake the feeling that what Dawson did was just wrong. If that's what an "adult relationship" is, then well...can I just stick to being a dumb high school girl in love?


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