I don't have any real reason to slip, but I have been. On and off, and not really seriously, but I've entered an obsessive phase of counting every single calorie I eat. Nothing wrong with eating healthy and exercising, but when does it become dangerous? I don't really know, though I don't think I'm at any level of danger really. I'm just being extremely conscious. I'm just trying my best to put effort into losing weight, because it's what I want. Yes, it's what I want.

School is great. I joined the AUS (Arts Undergraduate Society) which is a kick-ass organization representing the Arts Faculty at UBC. Among several things, we aim at improving student services for Arts students, bringing students together to get involved and have fun (like organzing intramural sports Arts vs. Science, playing pranks on the Engineering Faculty, etc) and we organize events like Arts Week, beer gardens, and of course ACF, the largest student-run event in the entire country. This is all put on by a relatively small society of Arts students (considering how huge the Arts Faculty is), which I am hoping to work my way into. If I'd figured it out in time I'd have even tried to run for being 3rd Year Rep, but the elections are next week already. So instead I'll be standing at one of the poll booths in front of Buchanan bribing students with candies and begging them to vote.

It's actually an opportune time to join AUS if I'm wanting to work my way up to being in the council, because most of the council members are older and specifically looking for younger UBC students to continue on their duties. At any rate I feel really good about myself for getting involved at school, especially in something as cool as this.

In other news I've developed a big crush on a guy who is a player and only wants to sleep with me. Yes, of course it's K, who else. And it's really beginning to bother me because I cannot figure him out for a single second. He's the King of sending mixed messages. One day he wants me to come over, the next he acts like I don't exist. It's infuriating and intriguing at the same time. I'm stupid for letting him get to me, I'm stupid for thinking that anything would ever come of us if I did hook up with him, but the thoughts are still there. For some reason, I really do like him. I tend to be attracted to the cocky bastard types.

This Saturday I'm going to a crazy keg party at his friends house. I don't know what's going to happen. He might be all over me, or he might ignore me completely. From the way he was talking to me yesterday I'm getting the ignorance vibe, but I swear it's all part of his act. It's part of the game he plays, because I know he knows I like him. I just can't get my hopes up that anything will happen on Saturday because it's one of those things that is 50-50, in every literal sense. I can see it going both ways and I can't even decide which way I think would be better for me.

Must not confuse lust with love. Must not get attached. Must realize that all this is about is sex, and nothing else. If he kisses me, it doesn't mean he likes me. I repeat, must not get attached. Getting hooked on a player is a bad, bad thing girls.


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