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mind blockage
March 18, 2002 9:53 p.m.

I seem to be experiencing some kind of writers block. Either that, or what I could write about I find too boring, or too personal. I never thought I'd be worried about writing something "too personal" in my own diary, but that's the joy of writing online.

Mondays are funny because they are more strictly structured than any other day of my week. I have an entire routine that follows down to the hour without fail. I actually enjoy it because I have an obsessive need to know in advance what exactly I am going to do every day, and Mondays I never have to worry. I wake up at the same time, go to school and do the same things, drive home, go to work, do the same things at work, eat the same Subway sandwich (or a rice/chicken mix from home - had that today, was very good), come home, talk to Michelle on the phone from 9:15 - 9:55, watch Queer As Folk, fall asleep. Thank God for stability.

St. Patrick's Day was fun, the cute sports guys at the Garage did not disappoint. The only thing that made me a little uncomfortable was when I was leaving, one of them I hadn't been introduced to yet grabbed my waist on my way out and pulled me into him for a hug (which was more like, his hands on my ass and face in my boobs) and started whining about me leaving and how him and I hadn't had a chance to "talk" yet. He wasn't really letting go of me, so I had to pull myself away from him and promise I'd be back next Sunday before I could get out of there. I can understand everyone was drunk and I know it wasn't intended to be really aggressive, but it was just one of those things that felt really weird and sort of ruined the night for some reason. I usually don't care about that, but I've been feeling very moral lately, and not a fan of strange guys grabbing my ass. Hmmm.

One of the guys took one look at me and guessed I was a Political Science major, or into something to do with Law or History. I told him I was into History but not Poli Sci really, but he kept going on about it so I figured I wasn't going to argue with him. Then he told one of his friends that I was into Poli Sci and the sciences, so I had to correct him that I'm actually in the Arts faculty and I pretty much suck at science. He gave me this weird look as if he disagreed and wanted to say, "No, you're taking sciences". All I'm wondering is what made me look like I'd be taking sciences...

I don't know what made me tell that pointless story. Hopefully I will have more to say tomorrow.

Oh, I got a B- on that English essay I started writing at 1:30 in the morning the other night. Not bad considering the circumstances. What pissed me off though was that the comments he left were all good - great, actually - his one concern was that there wasn't enough detail or depth and that I should have expanded on my ideas that apparently were "really quite good". The word max was 1200 and my essay was almost 1300 - how could I have gone into more depth than I already did? If he'd asked for a more detailed 10 page paper or something, sure I would have done it. But that wasn't what I was supposed to do, it was supposed to be concise....arrrgh. Whatever. I just can't believe I actually had good ideas at 2 in the morning, but did I not say I ruled at Romantic poetry? Yes, I did.




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