It's 1:30 a.m. and I am starting my English essay that is due tomorrow. Before you assume that I procrastinated big-time, I should note that I also have my term project for Latin-American studies due tomorrow and I just spent a good four hours doing that. It was horrible and I haven't even completed the research and citations, but at least most of the typing is done. So now I am on to an essay on the imagination, as it applies to Romantic poetry. I'm drawing the hugest blank you could ever imagine. I've already had an hour to do this and I've literally done nothing. I'm so exhausted that all I can think about is sleep. I mean I am actually thinking about my bed, my sheets and blankets, the pillow...oh, the pillow.I know that imagination was important and blah blah - I know the answer, but my brain is just not functioning. I cannot think of any intelligible way to express the ideas in writing. So I'm sitting here, staring at a blank document. Staring, and staring. Maybe if I sit here long enough the essay will just write itself.
It's actually quite sad because I know this essay will be pure crap, and I need a good mark. It's not like I'm failing and I need to pass or anything, I'd just like to at least get a B-. I don't deal with the C range very well, though in this case I know I will actually deserve something in the C range so perhaps I won't be as angry. I don't know.
I just want to go to bed. I can't take this, it's like pure torture. Torture that is keeping me awake for way too many hours, leaving my contacts in so that they stick to my eyes and hurt like hell, throwing in a massively huge headache, cold coffee, and now I have to write an essay on Wordsworth and Blake? For Christ's sake. Who the fuck cares about Wordsworth.
Okay, I do because I'm still techincally an English Lit major and I do enjoy reading it but at this point in time I am not appreciating anything but my soft, warm bed. I would risk going to bed now and waking up in the morning to finish all of this, but I don't do well in those type of situations. I can just see myself freaking out 1/2 hour before its due. Too much stress for my non-morning-person self.
I need to breathe, heat up my coffee one more time and really concentrate. Just concentrate. This is only 1000 words, it is really not that bad. In fact it's - dare I say - easy. I'm psyching myself out into thinking I'm incapable of writing a stupid essay on Romanticism when I rule Romanticism, hell I could have invented Romanticism. So what is the problem? Lack of sleep, for one. Lack of food, only thing I can find to eat right now are crackers and I've proceded to eat almost the whole box (14 crackers = 3.7g of fat, I checked. Not good but I don't care). I'm sick of looking at this computer, the radiation must be penetrating my brain by now and giving me some kind of horrible disease that will kill me by the time I'm 35. I'd rather go outside naked and run around the neighbourhood in the freezing cold rain right now than sit here for another second. Wouldn't that be a sight...
I just spelt sight "sihte" so I think I should stop now.
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