My mom called me at work yesterday to tell me that my great grandma died on Friday night. She was 101, and that totally blows me away. So she had a nice long life and died peacefully in her sleep, but I was still rather disturbed for a few hours. Now I have a funeral to attend sometime this week, probably Wednesday or Thursday. I've only been to one funeral before, and that was when my great grandpa (on the other side of the fam) died with I was 7 or 8. All I remember is that it was a really nice sunny day in Victoria, and my grandma was crying and people were taking pictures. So this will be my first real funeral done in a chapel and at the gravesite. My brother is going to be a pallbearer and everything. I think I will cry, even though I wasn't particularly close to her. I keep thinking about little things she'd told me or my dad before about her youth. I know she played the piano. I also remember her telling me that she liked to play basketball, but her school didn't have a real basketball team for girls. The team she played on with the school had different rules for girls and was quite different than the kind of basketball played now. All of a sudden I have this desperate need to know everything about her. How did she meet my great grandfather? Where did they get married? Did she have a job? What was her favourite school subject?My weekend was slightly adventurous I suppose, but I feel really weird today. I'm not sure what to make of my mood. I know it must be because I had horrible dreams last night out of absolutely nowhere. The first dream was about being at SFU on Valentine's Day. I was walking around pretty aimlessly, and I found Cody's house and talked to him...the dream was way too long to explain but it was a disaster, to say the least. I woke up around 8 am after just having gone to bed around 4, so I feel asleep again and this time dreamed of Cody coming back home after the SFU incident, and telling me he loved me and wanted to be with me. We were out by my elementary school, and he was holding me and I kept saying this like, "It feels so good to have your arms around me" and "I missed you sooo much". So we held hands and kissed and everything was peachy, until I woke up and realized it was all a dream. The got-back-together dreams are always so much worse than the fighting ones. Once again, I really wish I didn't dream.
So, my weekend. Friday night was totally weird. I smoked pot for the first time in a couple months with Shell and Anna, and it was a total trip. I had fun for the most part but it really felt like a major degeneration. It reminds me of when all three of us were still pretty screwed up over ex-boyfriends and it was a way of forgetting about everything. Now Anna has a new boyfriend, and Shell and I aren't nearly as bad as we used to be. Sitting on the playground passing a joint felt so...weird. I knew because it had been so long that we were going to get totally ripped, and we did. We hardly stopped laughing for a second. The best part of the night was the bonding experience of it all. I love the kind of nights that are just the three of us, singing to our favourite songs. Helps that we're all totally obsessed with the same song right now, which doesn't happen often - "What's Luv?" by Fat Joe feat. Ja Rule and Ashanti. We must have listened to that song, and "Break Ya Neck" by Busta Rhymes ten times each.
Last night was awesome. I went to Wett Bar with all of my favourite girl friends to go clubbing with - Anna, Jasmine, Shell, Angie, Serena, Shannon. We had a hook-up with this guy Anna knows, and bypassed a line of probably a hundred people, didn't have to pay cover, plus got to sit at one of the VIP reserved booths. Wett Bar is my favourite club by far, and I usually like Fridays better, but this Saturday was pretty good. I just had the best time dancing. What I love about those girls compared to my other friends is that we're all into hip-hop, and we don't dance with each other - we dance on each other. We're so into it that guys actually mingle around us and watch us dance. Then they try to approach us and half way there get totally intimidated and step back again. It always reminds me of that part in "Sweetheart" by Mariah Carey when JD goes, "Shakin' it up with her homegirls, paying no attention to us, they in they own world..."
So I had a good time last night, but got home late and dreamt (dreamed?) of Cody for some God awful reason. I woke up really late this afternoon, and I'm still in my pj's now. I know I have a lot to do, considering I now have a funeral to attend on top of my tests this week. I had planned on going to the Funky Planet (cool hip-hop club right on the border of the States, where lots of yummy American guys go) on Wednesday night, but who knows if that'll happen now.
Last night, Jimmy ended up coming along (Angie's boyfriend) and he knows practially every non-white guy in the city. He said he'd hook me up with any guy in the club no problem, just point out which one I wanted and it'd be a done deal. I could have taken advantage of the oppertunity, and there were many cute guys but for once I wasn't in the mood.
It's been raining all day and I feel so sluggish. Again, I wish I were somewhere hot, sunny and dry. I just want to lay on a beach and not think about a single thing.
By the way, I've been getting a lot of google/altavista/msn hits lately. The most interesting one of late has been "scared+new+boyfriend", but the ones that disturb me the most are a couple for "krista diaryland". I'm so paranoid about people I know in real life trying to find my diary. It almost makes me want to lock it again.
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