I'm beyond tired, but I can't sleep. It's a wonder I am still alive. And I look like absolute hell. Getting ready for school this morning consisted of washing my face, pulling on sweatpants (uh, sweatpants I wore to bed a couple nights ago), a sweatshirt and baseball cap. I didn't even brush my hair. I feel disgusting, but there's no point in trying to look better now. I'm supposed to be seeing Black Hawk Down with Shell and Paul tonight, so I'll have a shower when I get home from my last class. At least the Queer As Folk marathon has ended, and I have a whole 6 days until the next episode to recover. Season premiere was so good, and Justin is alright. Well, he's lost his motor skills on the right side of his body (which sucks because he was an artist) but he's awake and home again.
I'm getting so emotionally involved with it all, to a point where I actually think about it during my classes. Shell and I cried when Justin said he couldn't remember anything about his prom, and if Brian doesn't tell Justin he loves him this season, I think I will die. Okay, I need to calm down.
I was thinking about Cody a lot on my car ride to school. Snow reminds me of him, because we shared some our first kisses in the snow. Maybe that's what it was, but it was an odd feeling to be totally zoned out thinking of Cody, and then snapping back into reality again. It's probably snowing like crazy up at SFU. I feel jealous imagining him with his girlfriend in the snow. Snow is our thing...
I haven't felt like myself lately. I actually feel bad because I'm being bitchy to people on purpose. Things just feel different. My attitude towards school, work, my friends - everything.
The other night I felt like just laying on the floor and crying, for no reason at all. And this afternoon I've been listening to slow jams on repeat, which I haven't done in a long time. K-Ci and JoJo "All My Life"...over, and over and over again. This getting over Cody phase is really fucking me up.
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