I feel like I don't quite know what to do with myself. I have so much to do, and no idea where to begin. Today I had zero time to do anything productive. I worked a full eight hour day, and it was so busy I could barely take my lunch break. To make work even more enjoyable, I was sniffling and sneezing the entire time. I had to speed straight from work to church, and I got there just as it started. Anna's a dumbass and didn't sit down and save me a seat, instead she waited outside for me because she didn't want to "look like a loner" by herself. For God's sake, it's church not some popularity contest, but whatever. We stood for the entire service, and my feet started to ache about twenty minutes into it. I must say it was nice to go to church with just Anna. Cut down on the distractions. I hate people who talk during church.So I'm home for the first time since early this morning, eating luke-warm remnants of dinner and waiting for the cold medicine to start working. I have so much homework to do. Plus I'm starting new hip-hop classes on Wednesday (yeah!) so that's going to eliminate another night from my proposed studying schedule.
I need more direction, more initiative. I hate worrying about homework after school and on weekends. I'm taking five classes - if I really wanted to get all of my reading done, I would not have a social life.
I know if I just took the time to sit down for an hour or two, I could actually get a lot done and feel at least slightly at ease. I'm too bent on having fun lately. Every weekend I want to go dancing, or out to dinner downtown, or anything else that takes up my entire evening and then some.
It's rather depressing to think that I'm having to restrict myself from having fun. I'm 19 years old. I should be living it up, not working all day while worrying about Psychology essays and the next week of school ahead of me.
I missed Cody this afternoon, thinking about Valentine's Day coming up. I feel very jealous. I'm alright, and they were brief episodes. But I tried to convince myself I didn't want to be with him anymore.
<< || >>
