I don't even know if I want to get into this, it'll be the longest story ever and I know nobody's going to actually read it. Oh, whatever. Maybe if I go through all of the events I'll somehow feel a little relieved.

So I had "the party" at my house last night. My parents went to Victoria and so I invited my 10 or so closest friends to come over for the night and sleep over if they wanted to. This was just a couple days ago I decided this, and I thought Cody wasn't home so I didn't have to worry about him coming or anything like that. So we planned to come to my house, yada yada, it was set.

Well, my entire December 31 did not go well from the start. Megan, Shannon and I were at UBC at 10 in the morning in the rain, and I'd only slept about 5 hours the night before. I felt icky and I was wet and we were all kind of frustrated because the buildings Meg needed to get into were closed, and the one book she needed to buy was on some hard-to-access level and the lady refused to get it for her. We picked up Graham at UBC and went downtown for sushi around noon. I hadn't showered or anything like that, I looked like crap - and then I find out that we're meeting Jordan and Cody there. Cody, who I thought was away in Whistler for New Years with his girlfriend. I felt so nervous, especially because all through lunch I knew him and Jordan were talking about me and that there was something they wanted to tell me, or were hiding, or something. It was so obvious it was completely lame, after half an hour I just felt like saying, "Hey, you know what? If you have something you wanna say to me, just say it already". Meg told me the second they'd left that Cody wanted to ask me something, but not then because it was a bad situation to ask it in (which was true, I'm very glad he didn't).

I had never told Cody about the party at my house, because I didn't know he was home. So he thought nothing was going on and offered his house apparently mere hours after I'd told everyone about coming to my house. Jordan informed Cody that I'd offered my house already, though I'd so far only offered it to the people I'd been out with that night. Cody had only offered his to his guy friends, who I had yet to talk to. So half our friends were coming to my house, the other half to his, unknowingly.

When Cody figured out I'd told more people than him, and also that mine was more planned and that my other friends (Danny, Shell, Anna, etc.) were coming to my house too, we ran into a little problem. Caroline and Cody were obviously going to do something together no matter where they were going, and Cody knew I'd be fine with him coming - but he didn't know what to do about Caroline, because he assumed I'd be uncomfortable with her at my house. I had to make the decision whether I would be ok with him and Caroline coming over, or if I'd rather we have seperate parties (and make my friends choose between us), or if I'd sacrifice my own New Years, stay home, and let everyone go to Cody's instead. The last option became an option after I decided that as much as I wanted to be okay with the situation, I really wasn't. I'd been crying about it for the last two hours and I just thought, you know what? If I really didn't care, I wouldn't care. It'd be a non-issue, and this obviously isn't a non-issue if I can't stop crying about it.

I called him when I got home and cut right to the chase and said, "Hey. So you were going to ask me if Caroline could come over tonight?" and he said, "Actually I wasn't". That threw me off and I said, "Well...what's going on then?" and he said he was going to have people over at his house anyway, and that whoever wanted to come could come, and that I was totally welcome to come too but that he totally understood I would be uncomfortable around Caroline and that's why he decided he just wouldn't ask me about her coming over. Anyway, we talked a bit and we were both fine about it, and agreed on doing seperate things, no hard feelings, whatever. I was upset again for a little while nevertheless, and cried on my floor for a few minutes, then got up and started getting dressed and dancing around excitedly. Here begins the incredible mood swings of the night. More to come, oh yes.

So an hour or so later I'm just watching TV, this was around 6:30 and I didn't tell people to come until 8-ish so I was just chill.

Shannon calls me, tells me she's heard that everyone is now going to Cody's. Everyone, all of my girl friends that had planned to spend the night with me and who had volunteered to bring food and everything. I was beyond mad, beyond hurt. I started absolutely bawling, after I'd already done my make-up and everything else. It was a complete mess, until about half an hour later we all figured out that it was just a huge misunderstanding and that everyone was just confused, and had thought plans had changed. They weren't purposely ditching me afterall, so I cheered up again, and told Shannon to come over early and hang out with me before I went totally crazy.

She came over, my girls came over, it was so much fun. We played our famous drinking game we always play and were all pretty smashed before 10 pm. Around that time though, the guys at Cody's house started calling us, harassing us, asking if we were having fun and exaggerating they were having "sooo much fun", that New Years wasn't the same without us and that we should all come over. We were totally mad and hung up on them a couple times, and then told them off a few other times, then laughed about what losers they were for the next little while because their party was obviously hurting if they had to resort to calling us continually begging us to come over.

So I quickly forgot about all that mess once they stopped calling. But, as soon as I forgot about it and cheered up again - a whole slew of these rowdy guys I went to high school with showed up at my door, out of absolutely nowhere. In the matter of minutes our party turned into a full-fledged drunken crazy New Years thing. I was cool with it though, especially since the first thing Kris told me was, "Yeah we just dropped by Cody's and their party was totally brutal, but your house is bumpin'!". Damn straight.

Oh, but wait, this isn't a happy ending. Guess who shows up five minutes after that? Yeah, Cody's party, including Cody and his girlfriend. I was so beyond mad that he would do that to me, although I must admit that I think Caroline actually stayed outside the house and Cody only stayed for about five minutes and then left. Probably because he saw me start to cry and freak out.

Even though he'd left, I was still so shaken that there were way too many people in my house, and that he'd actually shown up with her, plus the fact I was really, really drunk. If I'd known so many people were coming over I would not have gotten so wasted, because I just couldn't handle it. If I were sober, I could have handled myself so much better, but you know how it is when you're drunk, right? For the rest of the night, and I'm talking another 3 hours or more, I was like an emotional roller-coaster. One minute I'd be jumping around and hugging everyone and laughing, the very next minute I'd start to cry and scream "Why would he do this to me?! WHY?!" It was such a disaster. While I was having these fucked up mood swings and continually crying, Anna and Jamil had something weird going on, people were getting more rowdy, stuff was spilled everywhere, and I couldn't get Kris off of me. Everytime I started to cry he had his arms around me and it was just so weird.

So basically, the night ended with Megan showing up from work and me pulling her into the living room and bursting into hysterics again and telling her what happened and telling her to tell everyone to leave. Which she did, and it was all cool because it was already 3:30 in the morning anyway, and Anna and I wanted to sleep. Tami had passed out on my bed upstairs like two hours earlier, Shannon was puking for about the twelfth time in my kitchen sink, Shell was mad at Danny because he was being all huggy with Anna and she was jealous, I was crying and mad at Cody and all his other stupid friends who showed up at my house, and I also felt awful that I had to be so pouty all night and probably made Jess and my other girl friends feel bad. Plus I bitched out Jordan for no reason really, and some chick named Kirsty who's a friend of Cody and Caroline's told everyone that Cody told her to tell me to fuck off, and that she did it, when I've actually never even met or talked to her. Oh my God, if she'd actually said that to me, there would have been one huge bitch fight.

That was my happy New Years celebration, in a nutshell.

Today has been all about the damage control. Shell, Anna and I went out and talked for a long while and agreed that nothing is as bad as it seems, and that I shouldn't feel embarrased or anything because I have to remember that not only was I wasted, everyone else was too and probably don't give a shit, or don't really remember. I called Jordan and apologized for being "over emotional" and he was totally fine, he actually said "no worries my dear, I still love ya", so that went well. He also said it was really fun and probably his best New Years ever so at least that made me sort of happy.

I called Cody to try to fix up that shit (and that's a lot of shit), but he was out, and when I called his cell, Caroline answered and said he was in the washroom and that she'd give him the message, which I'm sure was complete bullshit, but whatever. I made the effort. If anything, he should be apologizing to me, not the other way around, especially if he told Kirsty to tell me to fuck off because I didn't do a thing to him. Cody's such an ass, why do I love him again?

I still feel pretty shitty, but you know what? It was one night of the year. In the grand scheme of things it's not going to matter. One stupid drunk night that half the people won't remember, everyone except me had a good time, and for God's sake - I threw a better party than Cody, so much better that everyone at his house pressured him into coming to mine. I'm cooler than Cody, and I always will be, no matter how hard he tries.

That's enough gratification for me today.

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