I wrote about my day, how I listened to my ten different versions of Hark! The Herald Angels Sing on repeat for two hours because it's my favourite Christmas carol.

I wrote about traditions with Cody and that Mariah Carey song, All I Want For Christmas Is You and how much I hate that song now. Who doesn't know the lyrics to that song? It came on in Breadgarden the other night when Anna and I were visiting Michelle. We all stopped dead and began singing. Near the end, it had to evolved to angry screaming-singing mixed with crying and laughter, which was a complete disaster.

I wrote about Kevin and my New Years plans, and I wrote about what I did tonight, which wasn't much of anything.

I wrote about how I've realized how truly boring I am. I'm embarassed to write in my diary and it's because I have become so...typical. Writing when I was severely depressed at least served a purpose, and it came easily to me. Things I said were actually interesting. This has come down to that horrible kind of diary writing that goes something like this: This is what I did today, wasn't that fun? Well got to go, bye! I hate it, I hate it.

I wrote about how I talked to Cody today, and how we might go out for coffee Sunday but it's rather unlikely, and how I didn't know what to write in the letter for him and that maybe it's a sign I shouldn't write him a letter at all, and how I'd probably end up trying to write it tomorrow at work and it will lead to another emotional breakdown during my shift which has become a new Christmas tradition - come to S&F around noon every Saturday to see Krista cry, folks.

Well, here's something new. I meant to have been finished Fellowship of the Ring by now, but I got distracted by another book called The Rapture of Canaan. It's a bizzare book that I got totally hooked on, and I'm almost done now. I'll probably finish it tonight when I get in bed. It's about a young girl living in a crazy small town of religious fanatics. Like a sort of psychotic cult thing. Anyway, she ends up falling in love with her prayer partner, James, in her early teens and they start having sex whenever they're supposed to be praying together, but they don't think it's sex, they actually believe they're sharing Jesus' love through one another and that Jesus is speaking through the other person. She becomes pregnant and sincerely believes that she's carrying Jesus' baby and that she is still a virgin. It is so strange. But, James realizes they were actually sinning and he's so afraid of what the community will do to him for pre-marital sex (because guys before him had been locked in caves for 40 days and cut up, or worse) that he kills himself. The whole thing is pretty twisted.

It was sort of strange talking to Cody today. Both of us have changed quite a bit, even our voices. Everytime I talk to him, I notice the change in his tone, and I can't even explain it. He says "Yeah yeah" a lot and has these weird expressions I know he's picked up from those guys I never liked. I wasn't going to mention it though, until he accused me of having a different tone. He said, "You talk like your thug friends now". I said, "What? My 'thug' friends?" and he said, "Yeah, yeah" and I said, "Well you talk like your obnoxious track friends" and he said, "Yeah, it's so gold", or some sort of expression that made it all too...weird. It's like talking to Cody, but it isn't really Cody.

I smoked way too much pot last night. We climbed up to the top of this playground castle, which was a stupid idea, as we never considered how the hell we were going to get down after we were high. When the time came, we started freaking out and Anna made it into some twisted video game scenerio where we could get down "by helicopter" (the ladder with attached pole) or "the waterfall" (the slide), and how we had to choose one. The slide was freaky and covered in ice so nobody wanted to go down it, but I was so scared to go backwards down the ladder so I chose the waterfall, and made some grand speech about how I was going to be the hero and go down the waterfall and save the world. I really don't know what the hell I was trying to say, but Shell and Anna started cheering and chanting "WA-TER-FALL! WA-TER-FALL!" and it ended up in me attempting to slide down on my feet (didn't want to get my ass wet) and heading down this icy slide at turbo speed, screaming the entire way and totally wiping out hard on my ass at the bottom. I don't think we stopped laughing for twenty mintues over that. We were laughing so hard we couldn't get up for the longest time. Then I finally got to my feet to scream and shake my fists in the air, "YES! YES!! I DID IT! I WIN! I WENT DOWN THE WATERFALL!!"

I should just record all of my marijuana experiences. It'd probably make for a more interesting diary.


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