I had two hours to write one essay, which was a substantial amount of time. I chose the topic, "Does Milton succeed in his stated purpose in Paradise Lost? If so, why? If not, why not?". Of course it was worded a little nicer than that, but you get the idea. That is a fucking huge question. Writing about Milton's purpose to "justify the ways of God to man" considering his Puritan beliefs and all this other shit was way too theological and intellectual for my brain at 8 in the morning.

I ended up saying that he did in fact succeed, which was weird because 90% of the population would probably say he didn't. I don't even know how I came to that conclusion but it made sense at the time I was writing. I was trying very hard to stick to the work and Milton and not go off on a tangent about my own views on the subject, which is really hard when all you're writing about is religion, and whether Adam and Eve's fall was "fortunate" or not and whether Satan's portrayal as an engaging and complex character somehow makes God not as great a figure as He should be.. I had this brilliant idea halfway through that the very fact that Satan is usually sympathized with actually makes Milton successful because it could have been his intention to create Satan in that way, to prove how tempting sin actually is. When you read Paradise Lost you find yourself siding with evil, so doesn't that totally prove Milton's whole theory on how from evil comes good? He believed that it was necessary to sin so that you could recognize your own faults, repent and ask for forgiveness, and then you'd rise to a higher level in the Chain of Being and be closer to God. If you cannot go through that process then you're not going to rise. Satan doesn't rise, he just falls lower and lower on the chain because he knows he is evil but refuses to repent. So when you're reading the work, you side with evil and then should realize you're siding with evil, feel bad and ask for forgiveness and then through realizing the goodness of God and happiness associated with rising to a higher level, isn't God justified to man? The fall of man was fortunate, and God knew man would fall, so that he could send Christ to save mankind by taking all of the sin on himself, which was the ultimate sacrifice and according to Milton would totally up you on the chain. And theologically the coming of Christ was the most significant event in the history of man, so if it weren't for the fall, then man and woman would never have been saved and would not have been able to rise. Adam and Eve accept their fate in Paradise Lost because Michael allows them to see into the future, where Adam sees the coming of Christ (so he feels better about the future of man), and Eve sees that women will also be saved through Mary. I completely forget what my point to all of this was. Someone please tell me I am making sense.

That is exactly what happened in my essay! My entire second paragraph was a mish-mash of like four different ideas that I went off on for way too long, then trying to redeem myself in the concluding sentence to tie it back to Milton somehow it was like, "Uhh...So this all proves that Milton succeeded in his stated intention." Right. I should at least get bonus marks for being so obviously engaged in the subject and for siding with the underdogs. I'm one gutsy girl, I tell ya.

My brain is working in double time...too many thoughts to process at once.

One final down, three to go.

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