To give in, or not to give in. I wonder if he thought about me at all today.

A day of strange conversations. I had a intense discussion with Tara at work about how important a guys lips are, and how when I'm talking to a guy I look at his lips and if they aren't nice and full, it's not gonna go anywhere. At dinner I somehow worked myself into describing a study I'd read about in my Psych textbook about how animals get depressed in the same situations that humans do, except the difference is that animals never come out of it. Let's take a dog for example - if you give it a maze and it knows how to get to its food, and it's a contiunal, daily activity he has complete control over, then he's happy. But once you obstruct the maze or do whatever else and make the dog feel as if it has lost control, it will curl up in a corner, won't eat, sleep or move. When you take away the variable and give him the control over his life again, he will not re-learn how to do it, he'll stay depressed. Whereas humans are capable of coming out of the depression and re-gaining a sense of control over their lives. I don't know how I worked myself into that one, but I did. And now, I'm talking about how useful duct tape could be in an ex-boyfriend situation. You could tape their mouths, that'd be good. Tape them to anything so they could never move or do anything without your permission - that'd be better.

Jasmine and Angie are asking for permission to join the Bitter Ex's Club (aka Michelle, Anna and I). Initiation involves 15 shots of Baha Rosa (you may need to use the washroom). It's required you dated your guy for at least a year. Your chances of initiation are doubled if you were super depressed and suicidal over it, and tripled if you were depressed plus you've slept with another guy unintentionally since the break-up and felt like shit about it. If you smoke weed occasionally, like to go out with your girlfriends and go crazy once in a while, vent your anger by screaming "Fuck [insert ex-boy's name]!" and are completely capable of switching from an innocent church-going angel to a bitchy ho, you'll fit in quite nicely. Of course, us three founders meet and excede all requirements. I met Jasmine for the first time (finally) at the frat party last night, and she was awesome. After an hour of being introduced we were drunk and hanging off each other screaming, "I love you so much! You're so cool!". So she's a given.

Tomorrow night I'm going to church at the cathedral downtown. It's a 5 p.m. Mass, so Blake, Danny, Michelle and I can go out for dinner after. These religious functions are my most favourite part of the week. I've been looking forward to Sunday since last Sunday.

Tonight, I heard the very beautiful Sam sing a couple songs for me with her very beautiful voice over Netmeeting. I'm loving her Kentucky accent. So you should all go tell her how awesome she is.

You know what? Not going to send Cody any bullshit "good luck bla bla". He doesn't need me to be thinking about him. He should be thinking about me damn it. The more I do the whole pouty "baby, I miss you..." thing, the more power I'm giving him.


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