I came up with that title by thinking about my stomach and its contents. Isn't that lovely. I was sick at school this morning. Don't worry, it wasn't horribly embarrasing, like puking all over the floor. I made it to the washroom, which was directly to my right, thank God. I was upset (it was early morning, enough said) and I was on my way to my big Psych test. I walked into the SUB, where the caf was making breakfast. Upon entering the building, a very sickeningly sweet aroma of syrup and French toast hit me like a ton of bricks, and my stomach just couldn't take the churning any longer. So I took the two steps to the right into the Ladies and threw up. Whenever I throw up (which seems to be often these days), I also cry, so that ruined my make-up. So, I basically went to class looking as if I'd come straight from Hell. Today has been...meh. That just reminded me of a Simpsons episode where the kids are asked a question and they're like, "meh", and Homer and Marge are like, "What's that? Is that good or bad?" and Lisa is like, "It's meh! M-E-H! meh!". Ah yes, The Simpsons, applies to everyday life on so very many levels. Meh is probably my most commonly used expression so I guess it just deserved its own paragraph. Right.
Anyway, today was sort of like Purgatory, how's that. It wasn't completely hellish but I wouldn't classify it as good. It was basically a really desperate climb to Heaven but alas, failure. That means someone out there isn't praying hard enough for me (damn you!). You know, I don't even know if my interpretations of Purgatory are correct. If there's any "correct" way to interpret it. God there are no bloody answers to anything in this world, it's driving me f-cking insane. I didn't feel like actually swearing right there so, there you go - all this God-Hell-Purgatory talk, this aint the time to be swearing. If I actually end up in Purgatory, I will have a very serious problem with that. ("I will have a serious problem with that" - second most commonly used expression).
What I was trying to get at there was my interpretation of Purgatory, as learned from Sunday School and I don't know who else. Purgatory is a very, very bad place, children. Not as bad as Hell, because you can actually get out of Purgatory, but the emotional state of Purgatory is just as bad as Hell, if not worse. In Purgatory, you are frozen, sometimes eternally. You can see Heaven on the other side of the river but you cannot get there. You're chained to the ground, you're struggling, you become lifeless and indifferent. It's really quite awful, and the only way you can get out of Purgatory is if you repent your sins enough and if someone on Earth is praying for your soul to rise to Heaven.
Krista's take on Christian theology...more to come later on.
Tonight Blake took me out to a movie. Well, I paid, so maybe I took him out. Whatever. We went to see "Thirteen Ghosts", and I'm obsessed with horror movies, so I was happy to go see it. I'm making this sound like some sort of date, which is definitely was not, as he is one of Cody's best friends not to meantion a devout Catholic, which autmomatically gets me a big red X beside my name because I'm not a virgin. Spoiled meat. Hmmm.
A word to all virgins, particularly females - keep your damn virginity for as long as you possibly can handle it, I swear to God. I'm not even talking religious reasons, I'm talking for the sake of your emotional and mental health. For one, long-term relationships are a very bad, horribly awful idea if you are under the age of 18. Add sex to it all, and you'll end up like me. Don't have sex with him until you're absolutely, postively sure he's the one. I know that when you're 16, you feel as if he's the one, and you're going to go to the same University, and live together, and get married and have babies, and he's going to be a rich psychiatrist and you're going to be the great mother and teacher, oh and you'll have a cute dog too (ahem). Here's the point - THE CHANCES OF IT HAPPENING ARE 0.05%. When I have a daughter, I am instilling this in her from an early age - dating casually, fine. Boys are fine, in moderation. First serious relationship lasting two years when you're barely 16? No, absolutely not. It almost killed me. Read your mothers journals and you'll be scared of boys forever, not to mention scared of your mother, but...yeah.
I could write more but it's taken me forever to write this alone. It's almost 2 am now. Need to sleep, my chest hurts.
I'm feeling pretty shitty, but I'm alive. By the grace of God, I'm alive. This whole nun idea definitely has its intrigue.
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