1) I got to sleep in until 11am, which felt very, very good.

2) My only class today wasn't until 2:30, so I was able to watch my ER re-run at noon. Love that.

3) Decided I am going to church with Danny and Chelle this Sunday.

4) I cashed out tonight at work on our new computer system all by myself and I didn't screw it up.

5) October 10, 2000 I wrote in my (real) journal:

I tried to kill myself again tonight. It is the worst feeling in the world to still be alive when you know you should be dead. On Tuesday night I locked myself in my room, in the dark with my candle, and told myself that once the candle went out, I'd end my life. My candle right now is still burning, barely, just barely a flame, a small ball of blueish light at the bottom of a blackened tin jar, surrounded and becoming enveloped in wax. The wax is my pain, my sorrow, my heartbroken despair. It is swallowing me whole, and soon it will take over my body until I am no longer burning, no longer breathing.

A year later I am feeling a lot better, and that is a good thing.

Five bad things about today:

1) The class I had to go to was a "library workshop", and truly was a complete waste of my time.

2) I still haven't got my period, which is making me very, very, very worried.

3) Scott drove my car around yesterday and didn't leave me with enough gas to get to and from school. Younger siblings, grr.

4) It was pouring rain today and I got all wet while paying for a parking stub.

5) Mike left me with way too much to do at work tonight, so I never had a chance to study for Bio. Then he told me he didn't even make a single sale until 2pm, so what he was doing before then is beyond me.

So that was my day, sort of.

Tomorrow is Thursday and I really hate Thursdays.

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