I miss Cody so, so badly. I was thinking of him before I fell asleep, and then I dreamed about him, and woke up again thinking I wish I could call him, to at least hear his voice. I want to see him and touch him and hold him and kiss him.

It hasn't even been a week since school started and already I have skipped 4 classes. I cannot believe myself. I feel like shit for it. I promise to go to every class for the remainder of this week, no matter what. No excuses.

Saturday night was crazy. Michelle, Anna and I went to this highly illegal "bud bash" downtown. It was held inside Blenz Coffee shop on Seymour. The whole place was boarded and papered up so that from the outside you couldn't see in...but open the door, and you have a bud bash going on. It cost us $20 each to get in. There were live bands (singing about weed), stand up comedians and poetry readers (talking about weed) and a pipe-making contest. There was a huge buffet of all kinds of food, all of which had marijuana in it. Everyone inside was smoking, and I bet anyone could have got high just by being inside and inhaling all of the second-hand smoke. All the clocks were set to 4:20, and the place was black-lighted. Projectors projected sparkly neon patterns on the walls. The tables were lit with candles, and each table had crayons and colouring pages to play with. It was the trippiest place I've ever been in my entire life.

The three of us had already shared a roach joint earlier in the evening but it hadn't really done much. We were also totally starving by the time we got there, so we weren't just eating to get high, we were actually eating because we were hungry. I think we ate a few too many cookies, because I have never been so fucked up in my entire life. The three of us were so ripped we couldn't carry on a conversation with each other. We couldn't find our car for a while afterwards, and by that time Anna already couldn't remember where we were or what we were doing. The entire night was a combination of either laughing so hard it hurt, or completely spacing out for ten minutes at a time, without saying a word.

So I think I'm done with partying for the next little while.

I should go to school now. I still feel a little spaced out from Saturday. Yesterday I had to play soccer at 10am and I felt like absolute shit, I was still totally messed up from the night before. While the night was fun in a way, it was also a little bit too much.

Part of me is thinking, I'm getting older now, I should be concentrating on school and getting good grades for my future type thing. But then the other part is thinking, Krista, you want to be married in the next five or ten years? Do everything now, when you're young, before you won't be able to do anything at all.

When Cody becomes part of my life again, I'll stop with all of this.

I guess I should go learn something now.

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