Okay, it wasn't a real kiss. We hugged goodbye, and as he pulled away I gave him a kiss on his neck, where I always used to kiss him when we hugged. He backed away immediately and mumbled "Krista..." and that was it. We said goodbye and I closed the door and drove everyone else home.

I am exuberantly happy.

I went to bed with a smile on my face, and woke up with one this morning. I feel as if something has been lifted off of me, somehow - as if that little move to kiss him has made me his girlfriend again. I've been waiting 8 months to feel his soft skin on my lips again, and now that's it happened, I have no regrets. He's probably mad at me. He'll call me a "bad girl" and scold me and tell me he can't hug me anymore if I'm going to do that. But I just couldn't help it. I seized the oppertunity, the oppertunity I'd been scheming that entire day. Someone told me recently that maybe I should start making moves on him like that, and I thought, okay. So I vowed that the next time I saw him, I'd give him a kiss goodbye. And I did.

I don't know why this feels like a breakthrough but it does. Not for us, though. Just for me. I know he probably thought nothing of it, besides that I was breaking the "rules" of our platonic friendship that is so not platonic that it isn't even funny. He flirts with me so much. Just last night, a few of us went rollerblading right...he rode his bike. The entire time, the two of us stuck together, talking, behind everyone else. He was teasing me, doing little things on purpose that he knows make me laugh or freak out...we even reminisced about this time that I rode my bike down that very same street while he ran beside me one summer...and how we got into a big fight that I still swear was all his fault. He still has a major problem with impatience but I love him for it. I love everything about him. I no longer focus on his flaws like I used to. I accept him the way he is, and I myself have learned how to deal with him better. I know how to control my emotions more. I know how to truly enjoy my time with him and love every single thing about him that makes him the person he is. Every word out of his mouth, I smile. He's so beautiful.

I think it's only a matter of time now. A very short time, I hope. I am full of optimism today, and love. Love is a good thing today. Today, I love being in love.

I shall savour these moments, they're quite rare.


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