I also saw a guy in a beat up pickup truck with a cover over the flatbed. The cover was tinted but I could still see through it. There were two sheep in the back of a truck, driving down West King Edward in Kits.

Drive around Vancouver for a day and you'll see some weird things, people.

I had fun tonight with the girls, they always make me laugh. We harrassed some guys in a car for quite a ways down No. 2 road, because they'd been staring at us...so we followed them and screamed at them out the windows and stuff. They looked a little younger, maybe 16 or 17...I think they were kind of freaked out...because we ended up turning into Blundell Center thinking they'd follow us and we could talk to them, but they didn't. Well that was my excitment for the night.

I'm going to a Superbowl party on January 28. I'm pretty excited. Me, Carmen, Tami, and a whole bunch of 20 year old guys. If I were drunk I wouldn't mind hooking up with someone, but then I love Cody so much that I feel like I'd be cheating on him. I want to be with other guys but then I really, really don't.

I don't feel as if I have a lot to say right now. I left a message on Cody's answering machine, so maybe he will call me tomorrow. Today, techinically. Whatever. God I miss him...I miss him sooo much...

I just can't believe he doesn't love me anymore. I DON'T believe it, actually. I really don't. I think he knows in his heart that we're going to be together eventually. Maybe he wants some freedom right now, but I know that he knows that I am the one who will always "have his back" so to speak. I'm always going to be here for him, and when he feels like he wants me again, he knows I'll be here waiting. Now it sounds like he's using me, but that's not really how I see it. I just know that he loves me. I know he does.

How could he not...I remember the first time he said he wanted to marry me. We were making out on the couch at night. I was on top of him and everything was so, so perfect. We stopped for a few minutes, and I had my head on his chest, and I was thinking, "Oh my god I want to be with him forever, I want to marry him" but I didn't say that, thinking I'd freak him out...then out of absolutely nowhere he goes, "Oh my god, I want to marry you." It was as if he read my mind.

When I first started working at Silvercity, I worked Friday and Saturday nights a lot, and it would make him so mad. He had track 6 days a week, and now the only days we had to spend together, I was working. I remember one night in particular, he was so angry he started crying...and I got so mad back at him...I was like, "Fine Cody, I'm so sorry, do you want me to quit? Is that what you want?"...and he said No, he didn't want me to quit...he just wanted to see me, and he missed me. The next morning he called me, and I was still pissed off at him for being an asshole about something I couldn't control for the time being (my work schedule). And he asked, "Did you miss me at all?" and I was like, "Uh...not really." And he got so upset and went on this rant about how I don't love him anymore and I don't care about him at all and bla bla bla. The way he was acting then was just the way I was acting during the end of our relationship, and they way I still act - "Don't you love me?", "Don't you miss me?", "Why don't you care about me?". To think that just months ago he felt the same way about me that I feel about him now...well, I truly believe something like that doesn't just go away. You don't just stop loving someone. I know he loves me...I know he does.

And I am NOT a bitter ex-girlfriend in denial, popular to contrary belief. (I can hear you laughing).

I remember everything so well...I remember our first kiss. I remember the first time we french kissed. I remember everything...I remember the first time he drove with his new licsense...I remember all the times I cried to him and he held me...I remember all of our anniversaries and how he took me out to dinner...and the anniversary (I think it was 9 month) where he drew a bath and lit the bathroom with candles everywhere, and slow jams playing on the stereo. And how he said I looked sexy with my hair being wet on the ends from the bath water. I loved all of his names for me...I loved (love) everything about him and everything about us. I know he's the one I want to be with.

He still calls me a few names, but he mostly calls me "kid", which is sort of affectionate. In a cute, friendly way. I know he cares about me still. He loves me! Fuck it, I know he does. I KNOW, I just know. I mean, he hugged me goodbye on Friday...he promised we'd see each other soon again...he asked me if we could do it again sometime! Oh my god he drives me absolutely crazy...crazy crazy crazy crazy

The worst way to miss someone is to have them sitting right beside you...true that.

Cody Cody Cody Cody Cody Cody Cody Cody Cody Cody Cody Cody.

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