It feels so good to be cuddled by someone. Not that I've felt it in several months. I miss him so much. I just wish he'd hold me...that is all I want...to feel his arms around me and to be able to snuggle up against him and fall asleep. I hate sleeping alone sometimes. I just wish I had someone to hold me...

...head is spinning, my eyelids are heavy...T-minus 2 hours until I have to leave to go to the therapist...I am so nervous, I feel like I'm going to cry...

My cat is on top of the computer right now, swiping his paws down at the movement on the screen. He's so cute. I just started moving the mouse arrow around and he is trying to catch it with his paws, and he's cocking his head. Silly kitty.

I feel like such a freak.

The history class I wanted was open half an hour ago. I tried to get in but someone had already taken that spot. I probably missed it by mere minutes.

Last night I watched Hollow Man. I didn't like it that much. It was too unbelievable for me; I can't really get into science-fiction kind of stuff. Like, how on earth could anyone be invisible. And to REVERSE it? Whoa. And like...he could have done SO many cool things while he was invisible! There should have been way more funny parts. It's like all he wanted to do were bad things. If I were invisible I don't really know what I'd do. Spy on people. Go see Cody. Although I think I'd go nuts because he wouldn't be able to see me. I could lay beside him when he slept and touch his hair and cheek...then I could actually fall asleep and cuddle against him...not that invisibility will ever be possible.

But I suppose they said that about going to the moon too.

I think the best thing would be to go back in time. But then like...I don't get it. If I were to go back in time, say just me - would the rest of the world have to go back in time as well? Like, would they FEEL it? Would they realize? Or would their lives still be going on in the present? Cuz like, everything I would do differently in the past would most likely affect people in the present, so what would happen? Would the present just CHANGE? No, everyone must be in the past with me then. But then when I went back to the present would the rest of the people have any memory of the last 2 years I just skipped by? Would I? I'm just going by Back to the Future stuff, here. I guess I wouldn't, because the guy (forget his name) in BTTF doesn't remember anything. Oh yeah, but that's because he ends up not existing, because he had caused things to happen so that his mom never met his dad. This is so frustrating. But I'd love to go back in time. I wonder what would happen with me and Cody then? Would we still be together if that shit hadn't happened on my birthday?

God I love him sooo much...I can't stop thinking about him...the second I wake up I think of him, and before I go to bed I think of him...I just wish I could feel his arms around me...

I never want to be in a relationship again. Unless it's with him, because like, we've already gone through so much shit. But I never want to start over. If I have to be lonely for the rest of my life, oh well. I'd rather do that than start another relationship and have my heart broken all over again. I never, ever want to experience this again. It is hell on earth. Or maybe it is really hell...I think the worst kind of torture they could make you feel in hell is heartbreak. That is all hell is - heartbreak. For eternity. The worst kind of pain for all of the sinners...muah...

My hot chocolate is cold I'm wondering why, I got out of of bed at all...hahaha...I'm so funny...it's fuckin freezing in here, my hands feel like ice...

Guess I should go shower now...get ready for ms. therapist chick...I'll be sure to let you in on the gory details when I come home.

Mahal kita Cody

~Krista

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