I totally know what Carmen is talking about now. She used to be all set on Langara, but when she actually got the letter from SFU, she was like, oh, shit...and she didn't know what to do, and all of a sudden everything changed. That's exactly what's happened to me. I've always been like, yeah, SFU, I'm going there for sure. But when I actually get accepted to UBC, and not just accepted, UNCONDITIONALLY accepted, it's like, shit!

What to do, what to do. I have to make a decision fast. There is a advisory meeting for UBC May 25. MAY 25, AS IN NEXT WEEK. Though, I don't HAVE to go, but if I wanna go to UBC it would be extremely smart to go. Otherwise I have to get advised and approved another time by someone else...it would be way easier and probably better in course decisions to go to the seminar. But it's way too early for me to decide especially if I'm getting that scholarship to SFU. I have a feeling I won't anyways, but still...damn universities should coordinate their times better!

I'm totally stressing.

I tried to lay outside and tan but I got distracted by the letter and everything else so now I'm just sitting at the computer in my bikini with suntan oil all over me, in the dark. Sweet. I'm still mad about Shannon saying my bathing suit is "small" and "skanky". Fuck her. That is so, so mean. And lately she's been on Lindsey's case because her black dress she's wearing to boat cruise is "too short" and "skanky". What the fuck. That's so mean...and it makes me so, so mad when she says stuff like that...it's like, I don't know what to think. Is she telling me it's skanky because she thinks it doesn't look good on me and I don't have the right body for it? I wouldn't be surprised if that's why. Actually I'm almost sure that's why. For God's sake she has like 20 little skirts that, according to her standards, should be "skanky". So sorry if I don't look like Shannon. Fuck.

Me and Shan are going to see Center Stage with Megan and Savio tonight, hehe. I'm so excited. I can't wait. Ahh. I bet you ANYTHING I'm gonna be obsessing about dancing for at least the next 2 weeks after this. I'm gonna wanna be a dancer so bad and I'll be totally writing about dancing and shit. That always happens to me.

I'm getting so fat. I want to lose weight but I hate exercising. Fuck that shit! <---(been around Nev too much!). My thighs and ass and hips are so fucking fat it's disgusting. I'm 17! I should be skinny! I shouldn't be getting cellulite and shit like I am! It's so gross I don't even want to wear a bathing suit anymore, cuz the backs of my legs are so gross...I know it's in my genes, but still. When I have a baby I'm gonna gain soo much weight...my mom gained 50 pounds from having me and she never got it off. That sucks. And Cody said something so rude yesterday about Trish, something about her being so fat now, or gaining so much weight, and I was just like, EXCUSE ME?! She had a baby for Christ's sake! I told him I'd probably get like that too, and he's like, nooo and stuff and that made me upset. Whatever. AHHH boys are stupid. I'm going running tomorrow morning during spare, and I WILL do it, just to prove Cody wrong. Maybe that should be my mentality...exercise to prove Cody wrong. He thinks I can't stick with anything, which when it comes to exercising is true...I should stick with it just to show him I can do it. It's all in the name of showing Cody he's wrong. That could actually work. Then maybe I'd get skinny.

~Krista


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