See, Cody called and we just had the *worst* conversation ever...we were talking for like, an hour and a half and I was crying the entire time...I thought we were seriously going to break up. Honestly, I thought that was it. We both admitted that sometimes we feel like we should break up, but we both don't WANT to...we just feel like we SHOULD. It's the weirdest thing. So basically I just cried and cried and he was telling me not to cry, because he loves me and I was so upset and everything was so screwy...it was the worst...it's like, we were just sitting there on the phone in the most awkward silence after basically admitting that we should break up and that "maybe we're not right for each other" (we actually said that), but then we both don't WANT to...so it's just like, yeah...okay...anyways...it was the worst. I cannot describe how upset I was. And Cody kept saying that if I was crying so bad like I was, that must mean that I want to break up but I just can't say it, and I guess it was a little bit of that, but moreso I was crying because I love him so much, and I don't want to lose him...we both said that we don't want to break up, because we've been together so long...we can't imagine being without each other...and I seriously can't! I cannot imagine going to school and carrying on with my life without him. I would be so, so depressed all the time. I told him that if we broke up I swear to god I'd stay home in bed for like 2 weeks, and he started laughing, then I started laughing and that kinda eased the tension.

It's weird because now everything is perfectly fine. That is just so classic. That's me and Cody for you...we're fighting and all upset, then we're fine a couple hours later, and it's like nothing happened. It felt so good last night when I saw him...he came to my door to pick me up (we went to Blake's house and watched Phantom Menace...me, who knows nothing about Star Wars), and anyways he came to the door and as soon as I walked out he just gave me the hugest hug, and just held me so tight and it felt soooo good. I really think that is one of the best feelings in the world, to make-up after something bad has happpened. This was weird, because it wasn't like we were fighting, we were just talking about upsetting things I guess. It felt SO good to be in his arms...I love him so much. I almost started crying it felt so good. I know this is getting totally mushy but, I'm serious. It's times like those I feel like, oh my god I'm so stupid, why would i ever want to break up with him, I want to be with him forever...it feels so good when we hug and kiss and stuff...I remember this time he said the sweetest thing to me, it was at P.E. camp in Grade 11, so I guess it was like last May or June or something. The weather was super nice for that trip, and we were holding hands and walking on this path through the forest, going to the little beach thing...and out of nowhere, he kissed me and said, "I love how when we hold hands and stuff, it just feels so right, it's like we don't even have to think about it, we just fit together...I know you're so perfect for me." =*) <----happy tears!

Anyways, Cody is coming in like 5 mins to get me cuz we're going to White Rock to get his new track spikes...fun stuff, hehe. It's okay, I get to see him =) I'm totally love sick right now, it's pathetic. Oh well, I haven't felt like this for a while, so I think it's a good thing.

~Krista


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