Seventeen horoscope says I'm gonna be a little social butterfly this week, running around doing everything, and a little party-girl come weekend...nice.

"Dear Lie, you suck, you said you could fix anything, instead I'm fucked, you've made things even worse for me, if I had balls I'd tell you get away from me, guess i'm not smart, I let you unnerve me, I let you control me, afraid the truth would hurt me, when it's you that hurts me more...

get outta my mouth, get outta my head, get outta my mind, stop putting words in my head, get outta my mouth, you're nothing but trouble, get outta my life, get out of me, out of me, out me lie...lie lie lie lie."

LOVE that song! LOVE TLC! They're so girl-power...u know, the whole get-outta-my-mouth-unpretty-i-don't-want-no-scrubs-I-aint-never-been-no-silly-ho stuff. I'm so lovin' it...Cody was pissing me off today, he keeps saying all this stuff about me being disabled or something...cuz on the scholarship thingys we got today at the assembly for Gr.12's, it says something about not all scholarships being academic, some are for "minorities, being female, or people with disabilities" or something like that. He thought it was pretty funny that they put "being female" with everything else that was bad. Him and like, Jamil and Blake I think were laughing about that a lot and I was so pissed. I hate how guys don't get that stuff like that pisses girls off. Annaliesse was harsh mad today too cuz I guess Cody was saying stuff like that to her in CAPP. HELLO! We've endured sexism since the beginning of time and just in the last 50 years we've actually starting improving the situation...dumbasses. Guys don't get how degrading it is cuz it's never happened to them and probably never, ever will. ARRGHHHHHH!!!! I mean, I know he didn't mean to be sexist really but I just don't see how that's funny...I mean, they put "being female" in there for a reason...because they're trying to give people who have been discriminated against in the past more oppertunities, things they were never offered before. ARGH! IDIOTS!!

Jamil told me today I looked cute =) You know what he always compliments me at all the right times, it's funny...whenever I'm feeling like shit and like ugly he always says (on his own, w/out me saying anything) that I looked good today or whatever. Like today, I didn't even wash my hair or anything, I just put it in braids and threw on jeans and a sweatshirt. Now I feel pretty =)

"I wish I could tie you up in my shoes, make you feel unpretty too, I was told I was beautiful, but what does that mean to you? Look into the mirror who's inside there, the one with the long hair, same old me again today, yeah"

LOVE that video! You know what I noticed today...TLC is on the front of my YM...they are all pretty small chested. That's awesome. If there's one thing I despise (despise=insanely jealous of) in other girls is big boobs. I can't stand looking at girls in mags who fill out bikinis and look so hot and all that...ARRGGHHH! But TLC...that's it, they are the best girl group ever. End of story. I love that video cuz the girl who's the most flat chested of them (and the prettiest, I think) wants breast implants and her boyfriend wants her to get them, but once she gets to the hospital she sees this girl getting them taken out and it's soooo nasty...and she runs away and it's wicked...I love that video so much. Sometimes I think about getting breast implants when I'm like 19 or something...Cody said he wouldn't care as long as it makes me happy...but he always says he loves me the way I am and that I look good and I'm a perfect size and stuff...I HATE it though...so much...the only thing holding me back from implants is the money, and the fact I wouldn't be able to breast feed my babies ever. So I won't do it, because I really want to breast-feed. I just wish I had boobs. Sooo much. But I know why I want them, I want to feel more attractive to other guys, which shouldn't be an issue to begin with because I have a boyfriend who loves me just the way I am. I won't do it, but I always think about it.

"Never insecure until I met you, now I'm bein' stupid, I used to be so cute to me, just a little bit skinny, why do I look to all these things to keep you happy, Maybe get rid of you and then I'll get back to me...you can buy your hair if won't grow, you can fix your nose if he says so, you can buy all the make-up that MAC can make, but if you can't look inside you, find who am I to be in the position to make me feel so DAMN UNPRETTY"

Yeah....

~Krista

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