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boy probs and other shiznit
April 3, 2000 19:36:27

I'm so pissed cuz yesterday I wrote a long ass entry and of course, my super cool computer would not let me enter it. Arrgh! Oh well. Today was our first day back after the strike and it was...interesting...weird to be back...I have a huge History test and a Bio test on the same day, I'm gonna die...pleeease God I need to do well in History...I want that scholarship...

Oh! Guess what, today I was dropping off resumes (continuing on the must find a job NOW crusade) and the ever so nice ppl at Silvercity gave me an interview...and it went really well! I really liked the guy interviewing me, too, he was a super nice guy,and he was cute =P. So that was cool...except I still gotta go for at LEAST one more interview later this week or next or somethin', so that kinda sux. But I'm sure I can handle it. I hope so at least. maybe. It's weird cuz I don't even really know if I want a job. I mean, I do, but I don't. Can't explain it. Like my grandma always says...why work now, you're gonna be spending the rest of your life working...be a kid while u can...yeah.

In History Mr. Bucifal made a seating plan and guess who I'm with...Cody (which is weird, I can't believe he stuck us together again), Hannah, and ANNALIESSE...argh, of all people...I get soo jealous when she talks to Cody a lot and she just absolutely drives me nuts some days. Fuck. I got so mad today when they were talking...I can't control myself I am just so crazy obsessive jealous...I'm so controlling...I know I need to change that...so today after school I was bitching about it and I was crying so hard cuz Cody was saying how I was pissing him off today, and if I keep acting like this he doesn't wanna be with me anymore...I know it's my fault, I'm a bad girlfriend. I know it's me, and I'm so unfair to him...he wasn't doing ANYTHING wrong but I still take everything out on him and bitch at him anyways...I can't believe they way I treat him sometimes. He's just crazy to still be with me. I almost feel like I don't want to go out with him anymore just because I honestly feel sorry for him...he shouldn't have to deal with a girl like me he deserves so much better...but then I can't lose him I love him so much, he's everything to me. Relationships...argh. It's getting complicated now that we've been going out for a long time, u know? Almost a year and a half...it's been so long that now, it's like we're kinda thinking about the future and if this is what we really want...I'm scared of losing him...he's the only guy who can deal with me, I swear...I'm so messed up. That's it, I am officially one screwed up chick. Boys boys boys...u know what, most are not that difficult to figure out...I think it me that is the difficult one. I've been difficult since a child!! Seriously now...as a baby I was such a princess, I cried soo much, and I wouldn't even let anyone put me down, I had to be up in someone's arms...if anyone tried to lay me down to go to sleep I'd scream...and when I was old enough to climb, if anyone put me in my crib I'd actually CLIMB OUT! I'm not joking! I'd like scream and cry and climb out of the crib and fall to the floor...my mom would hear a "THUMP!" and she'd run to my room and I'd be on the floor. That's gotta be healthy. Yeah, and I've been bossy and selfish since I was little...little kids used to tattle on me and say I was too bossy and stuff, hehe. Damn! I'm such a bad kid. The thing is, I haven't changed, I'm STILL like this!! See what Cody has to put up with.

Anywayz, I'm avoiding the biology homework I don't understand so...I better get cracking. Uggh. Latez...

~Krista




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